Work [#201224]

20.12.24

Things continue to get busier, which is absolutely what I've been wanting to happen so I won't complain, I won't complain, I won't complain.

In the studio, I am trying to think more about the idea behind my work, the unifying glue that can keep them held together. It's not easy. It's another skill that takes time to develop, creating a new language, learning how to express and articulate myself and doing it unashamedly is the thing I am currently working on. I can spend months coming to the studio every day, painting, painting, drawing, painting, reading and then I realise I haven't been focussing on my idea, my vision for a long, long while.

To do great things requires us necessarily to be able to do uncomfortable, 'boring', dry tasks for long periods of time without getting any instant rewards at all. I'm always aiming to improve my technique, that's something firmly cemented in the grey and slowly decaying matter between my two pink ears. I get that. It makes sense. But to have a great vision (The Sistine Chapel, the life and work and maybe characters of Mr. David Bowie or even producing a great novel or a film) requires a different set of skills (as well as being freakishly talented (talent being PASSION x DETERMINATION x TIME)). To remain focussed on a grand vision is really, really hard.

To start with I am easily distracted, forever obsessed with the novel things in life. At times, I will do everything and anything, except the task that is at hand. The solution is always found in doing the work that you don't want to do. But doing the work you don't want to do is easier said than done. I would rather clean the kitchen, then the bathroom, fold all my clothes, hang them up, hoover the house and then go out for a 2 hour coffee break to celebrate than do the work that I need to do.

Ironically, doing the work I need to do but don't want to, makes me less anxious than I am if I avoid the pain of doing it.